March 6, 2002

Latest member of DeRosa-Callner Union claims Historic Contact;
Membership surges 50% in largest gain since union was founded

"Now that I've found my voice, I plan to make it heard day and night to improve my conditions," says newbie

Mount Rainier, MD: Members of the DeRosa-Callner Union today ratified the results of their latest action, calling the child born today at 4:10 am "The best result we could have possibly hoped for, and a victory for laboring families everywhere." According to experts close to the birth, the child, Mario Callner-DeRosa (name still in negotiations), was born at home after 12 hours of tense negotiations, with the results requiring resuscitation after 4 umbilical provisions were found to be keeping it from full potential.

"It seemed like the time just flew by since Amy went into labor yesterday afternoon," stated jubilant father David DeRosa. "Getting to stay at home for the birth made it much easier, and there was such a wonderful coalition of support that it was just effortless!"

Reports were mixed, however, as to how quickly time actually flew, with some parties to the negotiations reporting a much more difficult session.

"This labor thing is insane--I pushed for over three hours, and the baby was born 'sunny-side up'," stated mother Amy Callner, using technical language for a posterior presentation. "If it weren't for my love of this union, I never would've gone through this. And if certain people want to pretend it was easy, I may let them handle the breastfeeding!"

Callner, a long time environmental organizer, had what is called a "natural childbirth," meaning that drugs were not used for pain management, though some in the environmental community have reportedly scoffed that "those endorphins she had are great drugs too, man."

All members of the DCU have now been upgraded to full-time job status. Stated DeRosa, "While wages in some job categories may be as low as $0/hour, the benefits package is nice, and now we know what we're doing for our retirement."

Neither of the senior union members is expected back at work for up to month while they celebrate their victory. Pictures may be made available by Thursday, March 7.

The DeRosa-Callner Union, the fastest growing union on the block, is made up of front-line caregivers and future janitors. They fight for the right of new immigrants to Maryland, and are currently organizing themselves around the campaign "Quality Time AND Overtime-"the Wave of the Future!"

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